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Monday, 28 December 2015

Ada tangis di sebalik senyum

MY ALL

Chapter 1: The Snow White.

The Snow White. Loves to smile, appreciates her friends, wiling to do anything so that the friendship lasts longer. Snow White ni banyak kali cakap dengan ukhti yang dia sayang dekat ukhti, sayang dekat kawan2 lain, and susah sangat nak tinggalkan sekolah. Dia kata dia jealous dengan apa yang ukhti ada (terutamanya ramai kawan) tapi.. hmm. Ukhti yang sebenarnya jealous dengan dia. :( Snow White pernah kehilangan orang yang paling bermakna dalam hidup dia. Sebab tu, dia takut sangat kalau2 orang yang dia sayang tinggalkan dia lagi. Snow White ni hati dia lembut, mudah nangis, tapi nampak ceria je depan orang. Kadang tu, dia tunjuk dekat ukhti dia sedih, but I had nothing to offer except motivations and support. Now, she seems stronger. She'll be fine, right? Without us. I hope so. Yes, I do hope so. 

Chapter 2: Jack Frost's Wife

Your story is going to be in letter-form. 

Dear Wife,

I am never worried about you. Okay. Sebab su ada feel yang Wife akan berjaya mana2 pun Wife pergi. Wife ni jenis yang matured, pandai buat keputusan, and you know what you want. You always know. Wife tahu apa yang terbaik untuk diri Wife. I envied that of course. Satu je. Wife suka sorok apa yang sebenarnya Wife rasa. Mungkin Wife sendiri tak sedar kot  tapi pleaseeee trust me. Just like balloon, you act strong. Wife memang kuat, tapi kalau Wife simpan lama2, takut satu hari nanti rasa burdened sangat. SO, please, su minta sangat2. Nanti, dekat tempat baru, carilah sorang kawan yang sanggup dengar Wife bebel, merungut, mengadu, menangis; unlike me. :( I wasn't there when you needed me. So. Promise me. You gonna find someone and make her your bestfriend, so that bila2 je Wife rasa lemah, she will be there.  Sebab apa Su cakap Wife suka sorok perasaan? Sebab tiap kali Wife cerita something dekat Su, even benda sedih, Wife tak pernah tunjuk dekat Su Wife lemah. Ingat lagi tak, Wife? Masa Su batuk teruk dekat kem, and you were there by my side, duduk dengan Su dekat belakang dewan, su sandar dekat bahu Wife, lepas tu Wife sandar dekat bahu su. And you were so mad sebab ramai tak dapat tangkap melodi nasyid yang ustaz nyanyi. Hahahahahaha. Itu salah satu memori yang su rasa paling precious dengan Wife sebab itu antara waktu paling panjang I spent with you. Thank You, Wife.

Your putterfish,
Jack Frost.

Chapter 3 bersambung nanti ye.


-ukhti-



Saturday, 26 December 2015

To: balloon

Sorry. You might think Im a stalker after u read this. Dear, belon. Ibu follow your blog just now, and ibu baca your posts and somehow ibu rasa bercampur baur. Sedih, lonely, and I cant even laugh even bila belon gurau dalam posts. Im sorry to write this in public, hahahaha but no one gonna read this anyway so yes, please read this.

Ibu sejujurnya tak tahu apa rasa sebenar  bila Allah tarik orang yang kita sayang. I dont know how u get through it. Baca blog belon pun ibu dah boleh nangis. You are so tough and strong. Ibu dapat rasa belon sunyi, sedih, even though you were trying so hard to look strong depan kitorang. Depan semua orang.  Ibu tahu, belon rindu kakak. Belon rindu nak share cerita dengan dia. Belon rindu nak kacau dia, gurau dengan dia, macam ibu dengan akak ibu.

Im very sure mesti banyak benda2 kecil yang boleh remind belon pada arwah kakak. And ibu yakin time belon tengah happy, gelak2, having fun, you wish she would be there by your side. Im sorry if I made you cry, because I too am crying. Im sorry dear sebab ibu takde bila belon perlukan sahabat. ibu takde bila belon perlu support. Ibu tak mampu nak hilangkan rasa sedih belon tuu.

Ibu tahu, belon hilang semangat nak blajar tu mesti ada kaitan dengan arwah kakak. She was your idol, wasn't she? Kuat ye sayang. Ibu dah tak boleh nak jumpa belon hari2, next year kita dua dah start busy.  :( oh my, Allah mesti sayang dekat belon, kan? At least, belon tahu yang belon sebenarnya kuat. You went beyond!

Nah, ibu tulis sajak ni special only for you laling. Sorry ayat tak berapa nak sastera. Muahahahahha. I   love you, and will always be.


Belon,
Terbanglah ke langit biru,
Bebaskan resahmu,
Bebaskan tangismu,


Belon,
Gapailah bintang,
Buat peneman duka,
Buat penawar jiwa,

Belon,
yakinilah sayang,

Tuhanmu mencintaimu,
Pinta syurga terbuka buatmu,
Rasulmu rindukan didrimu,
Andai engkau berjanji,

Allah Tuhanku. Muhammad rasulku.


-ukhti-


at lost

Assalamualaikum, blog. And to my one and only follower. :)

Honestly, ukhti start blogging bukan untuk publisisti, tapi sbb ukhti tak tau mana lagi nak share luahan ukhti. I know, bukan semua kita boleh public kan tapi ukhti betul2 dalam dilemma.

this is complicated. so tak perlu baca kalau tak berminat. hehehehehe.

Harini, ukhti tak nampak matlamat hidup ukhti. InsyaAllah, ukhti akan sambung belajar, get a nice job, marry someone insyaAllah, sampailah ukhti tua. Ukhti akan mula jadi sibuk dengan dunia bila dah start kerja nanti, nak kejar kesenangan, supaya anak2 hidup selesa. Like I did. but what comes after that? What should I do so that I can actually enter the Paradise, the Jannah? … sedangkan ukhti sibuk dengan dunia. Bak kata orang, kau kena balance kan duniawi dengan ukhrawi kau. How? How can I do that. I dont even know myself.

Ukhti sendiri belum tahu bakat ukhti, kelebihan ukhti, personaliti ukhti. Kadang2, ukhti cuba create personality baru, but I failed. Of course. That was not me. Ukhti tak nampak. Arah tuju ukhti. Ukhti tak tahu, apa lebihnya ukhti. Ukhti tak tahu. Apa nilai ukhti di sisi Allah.

Kan dah kata, jangan baca hahahaha. Mengarut je semua ni. I know I made life sounds complicated. But it is. And I believe, the Lord created me because He loves me. He introduced me to this world, to this cruel world, so that I realize that I can only depend on Him and so that I know that I am so blessed to be born as a Muslim. . Guide me, Ya Allah. to Your path.

i really need someone right now, oh myyyyyyy……..